TPG Season 31 - Finals (Invite/Main)

[D-bo]

- JaGGoN (is supposed to deliver my movies at some point)

[Miller`]

lol, this is hilarious. joey, what did you do to cass to make him have such a(n oral) fixation on you?!

If KO don't start complaining (and therefore start playing poorly) and JaGGoN gets focused on winning, hmmm, I don't really know mang.

I _WILL_ be complaining every time my shots don't register. I just hope it doesn't make me play poorly.

Registration will not be the reason you play poorly.

[rolyat]

- Jules (cheats. blatantly. actually, no. not blatantly. best player of this season)

Ryanemo was the best player in a lot of TPG seasons. Hey jules.

[crawtona]

For you delight and pleasure, me Alex_Kirk and M0wJ3rZ are going to make a triple shoutcast feature and make these finals worthwhile to watch. Watch me out brosefs!

[paintball_]

- JaGGoN (is supposed to deliver my movies at some point)

[toxinatoR]

So yeah, I've got some PM's from people missing my broken english previews. This season was helluva long with a shit load of interruptions due to holidays and at least for me it felt like we were playing it for roughly a year. Glad this nasty thing is near to it's completion. The good thing is that these aforementioned finals are going to be played in a bo3 format so, considering the amount of [dd]1g#YOLO of the players involved, prepare your popcorn.gif, load your best SSW and hop in the nearest HLTV just to see watch toxinatoR cheat omnisciently blatantly. I'm also doing an in-depth analysis of all Mainvite starters (pay attention the ones in bold, they're my likely bets for possible match MVPs aka gamechangers).

Let's get it started:

[ I n v i t e ]

g.skiLL

- JaGGoN (is supposed to deliver my movies at some point. can be potentially a game changer if dont go emo)
- motiv_ (his talent is overflowing the entire 1911)
- ko (poops and (can) frag hard. enough said)
- greetz (deadliest rifle over this and past seasons of invite)
- taylor (new toxinator/doesn't have a cone of fire/one-man-army)
- cableguy (is allegedly fat and can drop big numbers with his aggressive playstyle)

THUNDER

- toxinatoR (cheats blatantly. or else he is just a product of people who really care/practice)
- dorito (the type of guy we usually hate, makes DoD seems easy. but has the cone of fire)
- Pat (patrick is random, he can be either god or black hawk in some maps/situations... let's see <3)
- Hudson (can frag, can call, can cap and is jared's bff. hence he is a thunder starter. LoLuMaDjkbrah)
- Jules (cheats. blatantly. actually, no. not blatantly. best player of this season)
- sevEN (frags. usually when he is not busy choking to death with the **** in his throat)

Expected outcome:

All jokes aside, it's goddamn hard to predict two good teams winning two maps in a row. My best best would be either THUNDER winning this season a 2-0 score winning the first map, making Corey go emo and make gskiLL lose OR gskiLL winning the first map lose the second only to get their momentum back an win the third map within a shit load of movie clips and flicks. I expect Tox being Jesus in every half with Jules dropping tons of 3 and 4 kills all over. Dorito will be dorito. Pat and Hudson will support them kindly and Joey Harter will be busy sucking his gun barrel instead of shooting. On gskiLL side, Chuck will (likely) "easily" outsnipe Pat since his talent[dd] is reaching dangerous levels. Or not. LoL. Taylor, Frankie and Cableguy will pretty much drop bombs both halves. If KO don't start complaining (and therefore start playing poorly) and JaGGoN gets focused on winning, hmmm, I don't really know mang. This match is the recent era clash of titans (minus sevEN, who always manages to sneak in rosters somehow).

cAss' bets:

THUNDER winning the season with a 2-0 score(50% chance - maps combination+ko/jaggon possible rage)
gskILL being crowned champions with a 2-1 score (45% chance - maps combination+ko/jaggon not raging)
THUNDER winning the season with a 2-1 score (5% chance - maps combination+ko/jaggon raging on their last map)


[ M a i n ]

illuminati

- Milo (THE_GAMECHANGERdd. he invented this acronym. copenhagen is some serious shit if he is really into fraggin')
- Stile (does his role with passion. tries his best to be sawn a pain in the ass over 1911 (but knows portuguese))
- Poizoned (got outplayed badly by me on our last match. LoLoL. when he is not playing against me, you can call him kellen)
- Paintball (must cheat. there is no other explanation since this **** is as bad as tin bad. jkbrah <3)
- Bour (never heard about him before but he handled Kevin Gardner pretty effieciently. got points with me)
- Statik/Nhoj' (statik is the starter while john is the backup/7th man. both can do their roles decently. nuff said)

92 Dream Team

- MAJL (played for sG/GSR over the last many many seasons and somehow drops bombs. god acts in misterious ways, eh?!)
- poo56 (the above fits perfectly. seems to be chill and can frag)
- AzNhUnTeR (never played against/never saw him play, can't say much outside of seeing him defending Main title twice in a row)
- Muresan (has a funny alias - it somehow reminds me of WC3 Dwarvish names. Muresan IronKar LoLoLoL)
- cK- (the dumbest mother **** who ever lived. yet, when it comes to matches, usually drops a lot of bombs)
- vertex (cheats at every game he plays but DoD. at least it's what he tell us. this dude have skilllZzzZz)

Expected outcome:

It's a real tough call here too. I've played against Illuminati and despite my better judgement of what the map would be like, we (3h) outfragged pretty easily during 1st half but we couldn't cap out somehow whereas they did. Milo's squad have both the necessary skill and chemistry to have this final in the bag and they only concern would be pretty much stop the Pinto Brothers from their ability to get crucial frags/streaks when their teams needs them most. Sandro will be busy YOLO'ing all over everyone, in all routes possible while poizoned will be seen dropping bombs too. Even if nhoj plays (he is in theory the least experienced player of Illuminati) I don't see them behind 92DT in any map or circunstance. 92DT only chance is to rely on vertex and cK- to play their best matches in their e-gaming career because frankly the tough call I've mentioned before (and not taking away any merit from 92DT) is predict 92DT pulling the underdogs maneuver and make Milo rage quit for the 13th time. That will be a serious challenge, really! At least, if he loses, it'll match his age. LoLoLoLoLuMaDbRaH?! <3

cAss' bets:

Illuminati winning the season with a 2-0 score (80% chance - too stronk i'd say)
Illuminati winning the season with a 2-1 score (15% chance - cK/vertex having a good run in the first map)
92DT winning the season with a 2-1 score (5% chance - cK having a 6 kill nade in every map with vertex ace'ing everyone)

GLHF!

inb4tl;dr



Edit: I wrote this shit yesterday being awake for 32 hours straight. Fixed some little grammar shit and made clear enough some of my personal opinions of the upcoming matches. PzL8

Swing and a miss?

[Jakimo]

[Tin Bad]

I'm not bad.....................I lose on purpose!

[Polak]

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG



































AMAZING

[Jakimo]

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG



































AMAZING

this is what us canadians think happened