teamowner's 2020 DoD Draft Big Board
Posted: Fri May 01, 2020 12:33 pm
1. Andy 'Sheenmachine' Sheen
Last year's number #1 pick is undoubtedly the greatest player ever to touch this beautiful game. He'll only try if he's drafted to Chris k4b00m's team so keep this in mind before selecting. Currently banned from all 7 active pub servers so will be incredibly rusty.
NFL player comparison: DeAndre Hopkins
2. kAFREEEE'
Part of Fifty's winning team last year, he inexplicably went late in the third or fourth round if I remember correctly. If you don't read anything for the rest of this poor attempt at analysis, PICK KAFRE EARLY. It doesn't matter that he's on higher ping. Doesn't matter that English is his 2nd language. Do the right thing.
La Liga player comparison: Antoine Griezmann
3. Beas
Best rifle I've ever played against. Truly. Doesn't miss. Calm call-outs. Sexy southern accent. He'll rep his highball tag even if you decide on a draft team name. I pity anyone going long on Harrington against this man. Will likely fall into 2nd or 3rd round for some odd reason but should be a top 10 pick in my opinion.
MLB player comparison: Derek Jeter
4. Patten
Cornerstone player. You'll need a good sniper and this guy is elite.
NHL player comparison: Connor McDavid
5. toxinatoR
Will he MG railcar, yes. Will he have 2 ping, yes. Will he complain that the server is bad while having 40 kills, also yes. You know who he is so just draft him and be prepared for what that entails. Known for heavying but can play pretty much any gun (including MG) and run any route (including railcar).
Sitcom comparison: The Office
6. stile
12manned with him the other day and he uttered this sentence: "I'm aggressively holding this angle." That alone makes him worthy of a top pick. You need glue guys to make a team work and any man who's willing to aggressively hold is most certainly a glue guy.
NBA player comparison: Draymond Green
7. KumKum
High risk, high reward if you select this amazing player. He'll likely drop 40 with any gun. He'll likely leave after 2 games to spend time with his girlfriend (still salty about last year's draft Kum, we could've done big things man). One of the few active players still left in the scene so rust shouldn't be an issue. Only question mark is commitment.
Ligue 1 player compraison: Neymar Jr.
8. Cory!
He will be so stressed out from organizing this tournament that his game will CERTAINLY falter. Don't worry, I expect Cory! to be drunk and/or high around 2 PM and ready to frag. Very capable rifle with STELLAR comms. We mentioned glue guys earlier, here's another one. Oh yeah, he'll be streaming on his incredibly popular twitch channel as well, so you have a chance to showoff to thousands of followers.
Fencer comparison: Gerek Lin Meinhardt
9. Nein
Heh.
Had to throw in one pun.
10. Big Guy Milo aka Player
Milo's a captain, right? You can't pick him. But you should try. He will carry you to victory while scolding your use of politically incorrect call-outs (not all heroes wear capes big guy). Coronavirus has recently infected his internet making him UNHITTABLE. This is not a joke. He's going to be skipping all over Lennon_b2 and you're just going to have to deal with it. Expect at least one 50 bomb from this Canadian? Are you Canadian Milo?
Famous Canadian who you didn't know was Canadian comparison: Ryan Reynolds
11. Spoon
My man big Spoon from the infamous NoGo Gaming Faction. He's been playing sooooooo much Dota 2 lately. He really shouldn't be on this board. You're my boy Greg, I don't listen to the haters. You're going on my board.
Best player to every play for NoGo gaming faction: Khoi
12. Cal-AC|InSaNe
Ben, I know you're a maybe but we're going to need you to play and run anti-cheat. There's some questionable players signed up with dirty, dirty, dirty pasts. You don't mind, do you?
Anyway, one of the legends of the scene. Will undoubtedly make any team he's on better. Also a wildly successful Twitch streamer. If he isn't picked top 30 I'll personally write all of the captains a strongly-worded e-mail to convey my distaste.
Legend comparison: Tim Duncan? I don't know man, I'm running out of steam. How'd you do this last year knockout?
13. & 14. warchyld & dye-life
I think these guys come as a duo. Incredible value for one pick. They'll be on the same page even if your entire team is not. Warning: warchyld will get walled at least 13 times per map. It will happen. Know that going into it.
WWF Tag-Team comparison: The Road Warriors
15. Chris 'whiskers/BraiN/k4b00m' Lastname
I think Chris is a captain? On the off chance he isn't, select him. Trade away your 2nd and 3rd rounder for Chris and future picks. Seriously. He's a one-man band that refuses to do covers. Only originals here folks. You think you're sending two rifles long on Harrington? Nah, Chris is going to light long. Solo. It's terrifying. Why are you lighting long Chris, rifles go long. Stop doing that.
Accomplishments: Pub clan member. DoD FOTW director. Encouraging you to follow your heart in 12mans.
Director comparison: Q. Tarantino
16. Travis 'Fifty' The Washington Wizards will never be good
Another reigning champ. Might be captaining but if not, get this dude. Wait, he's playing WoW. Damn, now he's playing Hearthstone. Maybe you shouldn't pick Travis. He's a Wizards fan as well? Yeah, don't pick Travis.
Washington Wizards player comparison: Injured Bradley Beal
SLEEPERS
Here's a list of people who are really good at this video game but might fly under the radar:
rdk
gwolf
devin
pirate
jAc
jonski
linus
Kev
RaiveN
Last year's number #1 pick is undoubtedly the greatest player ever to touch this beautiful game. He'll only try if he's drafted to Chris k4b00m's team so keep this in mind before selecting. Currently banned from all 7 active pub servers so will be incredibly rusty.
NFL player comparison: DeAndre Hopkins
2. kAFREEEE'
Part of Fifty's winning team last year, he inexplicably went late in the third or fourth round if I remember correctly. If you don't read anything for the rest of this poor attempt at analysis, PICK KAFRE EARLY. It doesn't matter that he's on higher ping. Doesn't matter that English is his 2nd language. Do the right thing.
La Liga player comparison: Antoine Griezmann
3. Beas
Best rifle I've ever played against. Truly. Doesn't miss. Calm call-outs. Sexy southern accent. He'll rep his highball tag even if you decide on a draft team name. I pity anyone going long on Harrington against this man. Will likely fall into 2nd or 3rd round for some odd reason but should be a top 10 pick in my opinion.
MLB player comparison: Derek Jeter
4. Patten
Cornerstone player. You'll need a good sniper and this guy is elite.
NHL player comparison: Connor McDavid
5. toxinatoR
Will he MG railcar, yes. Will he have 2 ping, yes. Will he complain that the server is bad while having 40 kills, also yes. You know who he is so just draft him and be prepared for what that entails. Known for heavying but can play pretty much any gun (including MG) and run any route (including railcar).
Sitcom comparison: The Office
6. stile
12manned with him the other day and he uttered this sentence: "I'm aggressively holding this angle." That alone makes him worthy of a top pick. You need glue guys to make a team work and any man who's willing to aggressively hold is most certainly a glue guy.
NBA player comparison: Draymond Green
7. KumKum
High risk, high reward if you select this amazing player. He'll likely drop 40 with any gun. He'll likely leave after 2 games to spend time with his girlfriend (still salty about last year's draft Kum, we could've done big things man). One of the few active players still left in the scene so rust shouldn't be an issue. Only question mark is commitment.
Ligue 1 player compraison: Neymar Jr.
8. Cory!
He will be so stressed out from organizing this tournament that his game will CERTAINLY falter. Don't worry, I expect Cory! to be drunk and/or high around 2 PM and ready to frag. Very capable rifle with STELLAR comms. We mentioned glue guys earlier, here's another one. Oh yeah, he'll be streaming on his incredibly popular twitch channel as well, so you have a chance to showoff to thousands of followers.
Fencer comparison: Gerek Lin Meinhardt
9. Nein
Heh.
Had to throw in one pun.
10. Big Guy Milo aka Player
Milo's a captain, right? You can't pick him. But you should try. He will carry you to victory while scolding your use of politically incorrect call-outs (not all heroes wear capes big guy). Coronavirus has recently infected his internet making him UNHITTABLE. This is not a joke. He's going to be skipping all over Lennon_b2 and you're just going to have to deal with it. Expect at least one 50 bomb from this Canadian? Are you Canadian Milo?
Famous Canadian who you didn't know was Canadian comparison: Ryan Reynolds
11. Spoon
My man big Spoon from the infamous NoGo Gaming Faction. He's been playing sooooooo much Dota 2 lately. He really shouldn't be on this board. You're my boy Greg, I don't listen to the haters. You're going on my board.
Best player to every play for NoGo gaming faction: Khoi
12. Cal-AC|InSaNe
Ben, I know you're a maybe but we're going to need you to play and run anti-cheat. There's some questionable players signed up with dirty, dirty, dirty pasts. You don't mind, do you?
Anyway, one of the legends of the scene. Will undoubtedly make any team he's on better. Also a wildly successful Twitch streamer. If he isn't picked top 30 I'll personally write all of the captains a strongly-worded e-mail to convey my distaste.
Legend comparison: Tim Duncan? I don't know man, I'm running out of steam. How'd you do this last year knockout?
13. & 14. warchyld & dye-life
I think these guys come as a duo. Incredible value for one pick. They'll be on the same page even if your entire team is not. Warning: warchyld will get walled at least 13 times per map. It will happen. Know that going into it.
WWF Tag-Team comparison: The Road Warriors
15. Chris 'whiskers/BraiN/k4b00m' Lastname
I think Chris is a captain? On the off chance he isn't, select him. Trade away your 2nd and 3rd rounder for Chris and future picks. Seriously. He's a one-man band that refuses to do covers. Only originals here folks. You think you're sending two rifles long on Harrington? Nah, Chris is going to light long. Solo. It's terrifying. Why are you lighting long Chris, rifles go long. Stop doing that.
Accomplishments: Pub clan member. DoD FOTW director. Encouraging you to follow your heart in 12mans.
Director comparison: Q. Tarantino
16. Travis 'Fifty' The Washington Wizards will never be good
Another reigning champ. Might be captaining but if not, get this dude. Wait, he's playing WoW. Damn, now he's playing Hearthstone. Maybe you shouldn't pick Travis. He's a Wizards fan as well? Yeah, don't pick Travis.
Washington Wizards player comparison: Injured Bradley Beal
SLEEPERS
Here's a list of people who are really good at this video game but might fly under the radar:
rdk
gwolf
devin
pirate
jAc
jonski
linus
Kev
RaiveN
